Sometimes, it’s not you.

“Don’t be afraid of losing people, connections ending and chapters closing. Sometimes loss is a disguised road to you re-connecting with yourself again.”

– @thefemalewarhol.

Hey there,

This is your friendly reminder that sometimes, in certain situations or relationships, you’re not the issue. You are not the problem; you did nothing wrong. Sometimes people can’t see your worth because there is a deep-seated issue within them, and this then reflects on their actions and their words towards you. It may not be your fault, but unfortunately in life somethings aren’t fair. Sometimes people will shoot the gun, and initially they may not be aiming it at you but the bullet wounds you anyway.

The impact that this initially has is quite ground shaking. Rocking you to your core, insecurities flaring up and emotions running their course. This is so normal, I cannot stress this enough. It is an initial response that you will automatically assume that you’re the one with something wrong or that it’s your fault or that you deserve the outcome that has played out in front of you. You start to think, maybe you weren’t enough or maybe you were too much for them or for that situation. But let me remind you that sometimes this isn’t the case.

Sometimes people can be so lost within themselves that they can’t see the goodness right in front of them. So, they take it for granted or they mess it up. This has nothing to do with you or your worth. Sometimes people come into your life and fuck it up to teach you of what you actually deserve. People who you think will be around forever or have the purest of hearts will challenge that perception you have of them. These people come into your life as lessons.

Instead of regrets, acknowledge what this has taught you and accept it as a lesson. If you’re wondering what the lesson could be, reflect and sit with it. Sometimes it’s to purely show you what you do deserve, which maybe wasn’t that situation. Or maybe, it is to test you… to see what you will or won’t put up with. This will allow you to reconnect with yourself, learn more about what you want and what you deserve. When people treat you like shit, remember it has more to do with them and their internal struggles than what it has to do with you. However, it’s what you do next with that information that will determine how much you value yourself.

You have to start believing you deserve more than just the bare minimum. That sometimes you will be the right person for someone, but they aren't ready for the right person yet. And you know what, that’s okay. Timing can be a bitter-sweet thing, but do not stick around for the time to be right or settle for less than what you need. Put that time into you; your soul, your happiness, your heart. Then take a look around and see that there are people out there that care about you so damn much and only want what's best for you. Life’s too short to wait for a person or situation that isn’t going to change. When their words and actions do not align and it conflicts with your standards, let that shit go.

Know that you deserve better. Know that sometimes, you're not the issue. Know that the most beneficial thing you can do, is pour that love into yourself and pure gold will come from that... I promise you.

With love,

AC x