Note to self: you are not invincible; you are human and that’s okay.

Hey there,

I’m still alive (just) and back with another blog post, there’s no time like having a sprained ankle to keep you at home and writing again hey…

Life has been hectic; I personally believe 2021 is making up for the lost time we had in 2020. To explain the ankle story, on Wednesday I tore a ligament in my ankle (again) when hiking in the Grampians, idiot me, I know!

It’s funny the way life works and the challenges you are faced with. In the midst of being my busiest, I end up with a moon-boot and crutches having to rely on those around me. Sometimes I swear the universe is here to seriously test me and my patience!

I had the same injury at the start of last year and I struggled. A LOT. I don’t just mean physically, of course, practically doing things around the house or at work was a hassle as my hands were tied to crutches. But more so, I struggled the most mentally and emotionally. Being a self-sufficient, strongly independent, stubborn woman did not correlate well with having to depend on my family and friends. It’s the same story as last year. I can’t drive, I can’t walk long distances without pauses, I can’t carry basic things, I can barely get into my own shower without almost face planting.

Mentally, I struggle with my freedom being stripped away from me, I’m a very sporadic person, I like to have the option to do things last minute. However, this ankle injury makes me plan ahead, ensuring that those around me can actually cater for what I want or need. Yet, there’s an enormous feeling of guilt that comes with those moments. I feel as though I am a nuisance and a burden that people have to provide for. Now, I know those people don’t see it like that but that is just where my head is at. I acknowledge it and I am seriously trying to get out of that mindset. Both times, that has been my biggest challenge. Being vulnerable and counting on others to step away from their own lives to help me makes me very uncomfortable. However, it’s something I’m learning to embrace.

There are lessons amongst this, there are deep rooted issues that require acknowledgment and solutions, there are feelings that must be processed and there are reminders that need to be said. I am not invincible; I am human and sometimes I need help and sometimes I make mistakes and sometimes things don’t go to plan and sometimes I need to have a mental breakdown to understand how I’m really going… but that’s okay. I am surrounded with loving hearts, happy smiles, open arms and giving hands that understand all these things too.

I hope if you are going through something similar or do in the future, that you also remember that you are only human. Give yourself credit for the days that you struggled, for the days that you thought weren’t going to get any better. Acknowledge your feelings and your mindset. Be honest with people and open your heart to receiving help when you need it. Life is a real nasty at times, but it’s what makes you stronger; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Today, tomorrow and in the future, I am choosing to accept the things I cannot change. This is your note to self, your personal reminder, that you can do the same.

With love,

AC x